Thoughts on Celibacy
Br. Dominic David Maichrowicz, OP
Marriage is easily the greatest of all natural goods but it points to
something greater. The beginning of Scripture is about the union of Adam and Eve and the end of
Scripture is about the wedding feast of the Lamb. So in the two bookends and then throughout
Scripture we find that marriage is the most common metaphor used by God to describe His love for
His people. That spousal love shared by a husband and wife in marriage is suppose to prepare them
for a nuptial relationship with God in Heaven. It's also an image and an exploration of how deep
human love can go and the miracle of that love in children, in participating in the creation of
entirely new and unique children of God.
But remember that Christ tells us in Heaven they neither give nor take in
marriage, marriage is only until death do us part. The only marriage in Heaven is the Marriage of
Christ to His Church. In Heaven we will know all and be known by all, we will see all and be seen
by all. Think of a close couple you know, married or preparing for marriage. Your relationship
with her in Heaven will be closer and more intimate than her relationship will ever be with him on
this earth. And your relationship with him will be closer and more intimate than his relationship
with her will ever be on this earth. Of course their relationship will also be raised to that
Heavenly level, but the point is that every relationship in Heaven is so close and so united to
God that it is beyond any of our earthly understanding and experience.
Now the purpose of celibate life is to be a living reminder that there is a
life after this one and it is in all ways better than this one. By giving up the great good that
is marriage, we show our faith that something better is coming. By striving to love all, as St.
Paul says, “to be all things to all people,” we show what that better something is. One of the
first critiques of celibate life is that it's not natural and that's absolutely correct: Celibacy
isn't natural... it's supernatural. So the question is can I give up 50 or 60 wonderful years of
marriage (as if it doesn't have it's own struggles) in order to remind married couples of what
their marriage means? It's kind of like passing on the hors d'oeuvres to remind everyone there is
a feast that is about to follow.
Married couples who truly live out their spousal love can remind the
celibate of the kind of relationship he or she is suppose to have with God. So the two groups need
each other and support each other. Also, where marriage explored the depths of love and
relationship, the celibate man or woman focuses on just how broad and wide their relationships can
go trying to reflect and truly live God's love for all humanity. Their solitude gives them a real
opportunity to identify with the poor and the lonely, the widow, the orphan, the alien, etc.
So I think there is a need for all of us at some point to really think about
this, really reflect. First of all, am I willing to live either a married or a celibate life
according to God's call? And secondly, is there one that really rings more more truly in my heart?
After my study in The Theology of the Body, it was really clear that celibacy wasn't just a
calling from God for me, it's truly how I want to love God and serve my friends. I can give up
becoming really close to one of them in marriage in order to offer my life as a support and
inspiration to all of them with the knowledge that we will be fully and most intimately united in
Heaven as one Body in Christ. That's not to say I don't still have struggles or fears or that I
don't still long for intimacy. And as I said, it's supernatural, I am completely dependent on God
to get through it... but it is a labor of love that issues from my heart. |
